It was looking like “Resident Evil: Extinction“ was gonna be the flick to catch this weekend, which doesn’t say a lot for the quality of the other movies opening today in local theaters. Then I noticed that David Cronenberg’s “Eastern Promises,“ which won the top prize at the Toronto International Film Festival, is screening at the Carmike in Edinburg. Looks like I’ll be driving to Edinburg this weekend.
Now, here’s a quick look at all of the movies opening in the Rio Grande Valley today. It’s Critical Mass:
- Resident Evil: Extinction
Tomato Meter: 18%, MetaScore (n/a)
The third installment of the Milla Jovovich vs. zombies series wasn’t screened for critics in advance. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad movie. It just means that some studio execs think the critics will probably hate it. So far, they were right. The few Web critics who’ve seen the thing are calling it boring and superfluous. Some liked it though. I’m still probably gonna see this one sooner or later. It’s got zombie birds. … Here’s what some critics had to say about “Extinction”:
‘Even more boring than it was the first couple of times’ - OneGuysOpinion.com
‘There are moments when the film nearly has a sweet Road Warrior vibe going for it, or at least a little bit of Thunderdome.’ - Cinema Blend
‘Do flesh-eating zombies need superfluous sequels?’ - SciFi Movie Page
- Good Luck Chuck
Tomato Meter: 9%, MetaScore, 26
All the critics have seen this one, and they all hate it. I hate it too, and I haven’t even seen it. The ads look dreadful. I am not going near this gross-out Dane Cook “comedy” co-starring Jessica Alba, but why do I suspect that it will be the box office champ come Sunday? Read more opinions:
“The film is some sort of humor-deprivation experiment.” - Chicago Tribune
“Laughs are MIA in this month’s comic raunchfest.” - The Hollywood Reporter
“If this is what passes for funny, what in the world of comedy DOESN’T qualify?” - The Onion A.V. Club
- Eastern Promises
Tomato Meter: 88%, MetaScore: 83
This award-winning thriller from the maker of “A History of Violence” stars Viggo Mortensen as a Russian mobster and Naomi Watts. Most critics agree that this is one thriller that pays off with great acting and tight plotting.
“Expertly realized and gunmetal slick, Eastern Promises whirs along with perfect efficiency.” - Los Angeles Times
“One of the highlights of the year so far. ” - Premiere
“A thoroughly entertaining film by a director at the height of his ability.” - San Francisco Chronicle
- Sydney White
Tomato Meter: 48%, MetaScore: 41
Apparently, what you see is what you get with Amanda Bynes’ new bit of teen bait. According to critics, Bynes is fun and cute but the movie is dumb, formulaic and will probably appeal to 12-year-old girls. This one review seems to say it all:
“Although Bynes exudes a devil-may-care attitude that is fun to watch, the formulaic movie ultimately falls apart around her.” - Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Also, don’t forget the free screening of the 10th anniversary edition of “Selena” on Saturday around 6 p.m. at Harlingen’s Lozano Plaza. Also, some lucky TheV247.com readers will be able to catch “The Kingdom” in Edinburg on Tuesday before it’s released next week. … Oh yeah, and some terribly pretentious-looking, low budget thing called “Sea of Dreams” is playing in Edinburg.
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Photo courtesy Screen Gems (Sony)
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